2010- The year Chris became a man and Alli knocked out a man!

So 2010 is coming to a rapid end and I am penning this end of year blog mere moments after destroying a sumptuous five course dinner and having wood pigeon for the second consecutive New Year’s eve in a row. I figure I have about 40 minutes to wrap this year up in blog form before 2011 begins.

2010 has contained many highlights and also some hates (some comical). One of the highlights of the year was a golden stretch of cinema in the summer that began with the incredible/mind blowing inception and ended with the thrilling A-Team. Inception was so good that I regularly dream of taking it behind a sixth form bike shed and getting it pregnant so we may spawn a sequel (if most sequels didn’t tend to disappointment much like children I imagine). The A-team was phenomenal as mentioned in a previous blog, it is the kind of movie that demands you to ask no questions and just have fun, if only women could be the same way.  Television also had a stellar year, with Curb your enthusiasm, 30 rock, Girls of the Playboy Mansion and Dexter taking top billing. Curb and 30 rock just raise a smile every time I watch an episode, while girls of the playboy mansion just gave us an insight into how much fun girls who rely solely on their looks can have, especially when you throw in a rich old bachelor and the world’s finest surgeon, making us wish we could be at the pre lash of a playboy event. It’s also quite disconcerting how watching an episode of Dexter will have you planning a perfect murder, possibly on the ski slopes (yes I hate snowsports, just in case anyone missed the memo).

2010 was also the year of gaming! From COD to Gran Turismo to the utterly ridiculously addictive Football Manager(working with such a small compact Everton squad was a delight that spawned the mantra “their are no stars”). Chris can give his thanks to games for literally extending his stay at university by 12 months and counting.

Another particular highlight was the post exams partying and winding down which had me and Chris screaming for “four more weeks” of house parties where every Reading footballer seemed to own a blackberry, a pair of boating shoes and copious amounts of brylcreem for the ridiculous slicked back hair they all sport. Also seemed to be an overkill of attacking midfielders. However in the second half of 2010 house parties exhibited a worryingly high male:female ratio, although when you turn up in a group of 7-10 boys, you hardly have a platform to complain.

2010 was also the year I gained a mutual love of denim with Chris, we realised girls with low self esteem don’t need Gok Wan, they just need a great piece of “well cut, fitted, thin and rough where it need to be” denim. We will send a memo round when a new piece of fabric steals our heart surprisingly (jeggings 2009).

2010 wasn’t all oggling women and watching great movies on the big and little screen plus the other positives of life. There was also some negatives in 2010. First in the firing line is blackberrys for many reasons but mainly because blackberry owners just bang on about bbm all day. There is no advantage to bbm, most phone contracts now come with unlimited texts, completely rendering the need for bbm, and nothing is more infuriating than blackberry owners talking about the instant nature of bbm. Yes because text messages are known for their slow nature.

Another major hate of 2010 was expensive and rich couples. Nothing exemplified this more than watching a good friend of ours have to splurge a lot of money to keep his relationship going amidst all the crazy dinners, expensive presents and the need to reaffirm their relationship every month. To make it worse when they broke up, she had left him in such a precarious financial situation, he didn’t have the capacity to buy himself out of his depression and buy himself a new heart (just tragic), I’m surprised he didn’t have to pay her some money for lifestyle upkeep. Lets hope the recession and the public spending cuts will see the end to this toxic breed of women and relationships.

So that more or less gives a very small overview of 2010 and now we look forward to 2011. On a personal note I am looking forward to my first ever job in the summer, it should be exciting. I’m looking forward to writing more blogs because I have truly enjoyed penning these blogs purely for the amusement of Chris Wilson and Kieran Richards. I am also looking forward to seeing out the last two terms of university life for some of my closest friends, so expects lots of antics and picture perfect moments befitting DTA. Watching some more Kieran Richard inspired videos should be another highlight of 2011, the kid has a talent after 20 plus years of searching and it should be nurtured.


Also watch out for North Korea, this could be the year they finally make good on their threat to attack the South. Kim Jong-il's successor Kim Jong-un is said to be a particularly trigger happy young man, especially when he needs a show of strength to consolidate his position. Also another volcano is ready to explode in Iceland more specifically the Katla volcano, so make sure your travel insurance covers such an eventuality.

Here’s to another year of trusting no one kids and more importantly a year of all killer no filler!

Christmas Special.

Happy Christmas from DTA motherfuckers.

Welcome to the Christmas special! I’m just coming off a night that never happened if your name is Frank Rennie and reinforced the fact that I hate most people in the snowsports society. I hate stereotypes but I do believe in statistics and percentages and 80% of snowsports members I have met are to put it eloquoently, self obsessed morons although that might just be a reflection of society in general.

It was also Christmas at the Mansion on Wednesday and even for an African Jew like me it was quite a sensational event. The food was outstanding, the roast chicken was sensational, the potatoes and vegetables were phenomenal even the ham looked good. To top it off was the outrageous dessert I concocted, a quite delicious apricot tart. However putting the dessert together came with a rather uncomfortable moment in M&S, with an assistant looking at me with unease when I asked her for a champagne that goes well with an apricot tart, I felt like a black man asking for the vote during the height of apartheid South Africa. Secret Santa was also a highlight with some really thoughtful gifts, I was particularly happy with the gift Lee Prpa gave me; a rather pimpalicious (yes I said it) smoking pipe with accompanying dollar bill ring, which will no doubt serve me well in the smoking area of clubs which seem to be where I spend most of my time on nights out even though I don’t smoke and find smoking repulsive (unless it’s being used as part of a slimming aid, joking).

The accompanying union was also very eventful, with everyone dispersing and coming back with eventful tales, Chris finally crossed a massive obstacle which has stood in his way since the summer term and wrapped up a very memorable term for his sex life, or more accurately the start of his sex life. He also proved his love for his friends by standing up to a guy who seemed to have a problem with Kieran, the funny thing about Kieran is that no matter how outrageous his behaviour, he can always count on us, thereby probably reinforcing his behaviour.I also had an interesting union with a lady mesmerising me on the dance floor with her ridiculous body and dancing, I was entranced and quite frankly will never be able to get the image out of my head.

So an interesting term comes to end, I wish I had blogged more of the terms antics but do not despair, next term shall be equally exciting, for one I will be hosting dinner for 200 pharmacists, so that should be interesting.

I leave you with a trailer from an upcoming Mel Gibson film about a depressed toy company executive who resorts to using a beaver puppet to communicate and deal with his issues. I might adopt such a tactic...but probably not.

Finally an entertaining outlet for Kieran Richards' psyche.

This blogging effort would never have seen the world wide web if not for the cinematographic efforts of a certain Kieran Richards in producing two videos that encapsulate childhood excitement and also when friendship hits the point of obsession. The first video captures Chris Wilson getting his hands on his driving wheel for GT5 and subsequently getting an organism and not to break with tradition of having to pay financially for his orgasms, the driving wheel cost Wilson a substantial amount of cash, which is why I am still waiting for payment for a delivery job I did with Wilson a while back.

The second video concerns Kieran's love for Chris. In many ways and I'm sure anyone who knows these two, will agree that this video is immensely disturbing. The mastery of the concept however can't be denied and as is often quoted, there is a fine line between genius and a prison able offence, just ask Roman Polanski or George Michael. I look forward to more videos highlighting the darkest depths of his mind, hopefully one day we will have a video highlighting his fear of sponges, and trust me, from hearing the back story, it would be a cracker.

In other news, I have immersed myself in the world of five a side football. I can only say that it is truly and honour to play alongside Louis, Alli, Prpa, and Wilson. Some of the football has been quite exquisite (mini Barcelona) although it has come at a cost. On Sunday I double twisted my vulnerable left knee which has left it looking like a sizeable watermelon, subsequently ruling me tragically out of the pharmacy tournament. I had planned to have my name all over that tournament like my birth certificate.

Alli has purchased an iPhone, further proof that you can teach an extremely old dog new tricks. It must be said that since taking the risk, he has become a bit of a gambler in everyday life, and so far he has the luck of the Irish with him and he is reaping huge rewards!

It is 3.30 am and I need to go into a slumber, so until next time which at my current blogging rate suggests end of January, good night and have a great holiday period if I can't bothered to write on here!

p.s Do not ask Mike Pang for a lighter! unless you're willing to donate some blood...